What Pi Day means to me

I’ve been laying in my bed, wide awake for the  past hour and a half. My mind has been tumbling over the memory of the 1st day I went and saw a doctor one year ago. Today marks the one year anniversary of going to see a doctor for the first time for my breast lump. I’m hoping that getting these memories written down I’ll be able to get some sleep before my family wakes up.
Flash back to the past…
Sometime around Halloween of 2013 I felt a small lump, but thought nothing of it. I had had a lump before and it ended up being a fibroid, so I figured that this new lump was probably the same thing. It didn’t hurt or bother me, so I did nothing. I didn’t even tell my husband I’d found it. I didn’t forget about it though, I felt it often and noticed that it wasn’t really changing. Around February 2014 the lump was getting bigger. It had been the size of a pea and was now about the size of a walnut. About this time I mentioned it to my husband and had him feel it. He lovingly, but boldly asked me why I hadn’t done anything about it yet. Our insurance had made some changes and who we could see had changed. I told my husband the reason was that I would have to pick a new doctor, and that was an inconvenience and stressful. I asked around for suggestions from friends to find a doctor. I still thought  this lump was nothing. Of all the names suggested to me by friends only ONE of them was on my insurance plan. I called and made an appointment, they could get me in the following week on Friday, March 14th. Talking to my one of my friends during the week over the phone I mentioned to her that I had this appointment and what it was for, she said that she'd like to come with me, just in case it was more than 'nothing'. I didn't want to waste her time and told her it was ok and that I would go alone. She was persistent and I eventually agreed to have her come with me. A few days before  the appointment I started to feel uneasy about this appointment so I called my Aunt to tell her of my appointment and asked her to keep me in her thoughts and prayers. I told her I thought it was just a clogged milk duct and most likely nothing to be worried about. She was a great listener and even sent me an email later with a poem of encouragement.
Friday, March 14th...
I don't remember if my friend and I drove together to my appointment or met there, that part of the story is a blur. But I do remember sitting in the exam room waiting to see the doctor. I was nervous. I was sweating. The doctor was a super nice guy. He did his exam by feeling the lump and measuring it. The lump had grown, it was no longer the size of a walnut. It was now about 3 inches long and 2 inches across. He suggested I go get a mammogram to determine what this lump was. I remember him telling me that he wasn't going to lose sleep over me, but thought I shouldn't be able to sleep. He gave me some great advice that day, advice that may have saved my life! His advice was to fight for my care, to insist that I be seen that day for a mammogram. He said, 'don't let them make you wait weeks for an appointment'. As I left his office I sat in my car with my friend and began making phone calls to find a center that could get me in for  a mammogram. My insurance wasn't very helpful in locating a place that I could go, but after much time we found a place. However, they could see me for almost 3 WEEKS! I told them I couldn't wait, they told me sorry, but they just couldn't see me until the end of March. I made an appointment but then called St. Marks to see if they took my insurance, they said they did. I asked if they had any openings, they didn't. I explained my situation and was told that they would talk to the radiologist as soon as they came out of a meeting and see what could be done for me. I waited, it felt like forever! While I waited I picked up my little boys from school and delivered them to my in-laws to be watched while I figured out where I was going to be seen. My friend had gone home to Lehi to take care of her kids, but said she'd come right back to Salt Lake if I wanted her to come with me to my mammogram. Right around lunch time I got a call back from St. Marks, they said they had an opening and could I be there in 30 minutes!! I called my friend and headed straight for St. Marks. My husband called me when he went on his lunch break and I updated him on what was happening. He said he'd meet me at St. Marks. The mammogram was a breeze! The imaging wasn't very clear though so they needed to have an ultra-sound. I sat in a waiting room for a million years, or so it felt. My husbnad sat and waited in a different waiting room, probably wondering what was going on. While I waited in this waiting room I was all alone, there were no other patients or people around. It was very quiet, and as I sat in this quiet I had a strong impression that my Mom was sitting next to me. This was the first time I had felt her presence since she had died. In this moment I felt calm and peaceful. I was taken to a room for my ultra-sound and the technician kept making sounds like she didn't like what she was seeing. She finished her job and said that the radiologist needed to review the images, and that the radiologist would most likely be coming in to do an ultra-sound of her own. At this point I asked if they could go get my husband so he could be with me to see and hear what the radiologist would do. Through this ultra-sound it was determined that the lump was not liquid filled but was a solid mass. It could be one mass, or it could be two that are bridged together, they were a little unclear about that. The mass does not have a smooth outer edge, it was jagged. This was concerning to the radiologist. I also have a couple lymph nodes in my armpit that are enlarged and darkened. This could be because of the irritation from the lump or it could be that whatever is going on in my breast is also happening in my lymph node. Again, they weren't sure. They scheduled an appointment for me to come back the following Tuesday for a biopsy. They would do 3 small incisions to take a sample of tissue to determine what was inside me.
Tuesday, March 18th...
I returned to St. Marks for my biopsy. I don't have a lot of memory of what happened during the biopsy. I do remember how long the needle was with the grabber though! I was numb and didn't feel much except for pressure when they'd grab a tissue sample. I remember being STARVED when my procedure was over and I was craving McDonald's chicken nuggets. Random, and gross, I know! My friend was with me during my appointment and was my driver home. She stopped at Mickey D's and got me some chicken nuggets on our way home. Those chicken nuggets were the BEST chicken nuggets I have ever eaten in my life! Coming home I was groggy and tired. I remember resting and icing the biopsy area for the next 48 hours.
Wednesday, March 19th...
My neighbor came over with her cute little newborn and spent part of the day keeping me company and helping to take care of me. We watched a movie and had lunch together. I was pretty sore today and continued to ice my biopsy site.
My oldest daughter was being inducted into the National Honors Society in the evening of this day. I was pretty miserable and sore but I went. And I took with me a small bag of frozen peas :) Frozen peas make the best ice packs. :)
Thursday, March 20th...
My husband met me on his lunch break at St. Marks. We met with the radiologist and a nurse navigator. It was confirmed that in all 3 area’s from my biopsy I had cancer. I was diagnosed what’s called invasive ductal carcinoma. This is the most common type of breast cancer. The cancer was classified as grade 3, which means its fast growing. This type of cancer reacts well to chemotherapy.  I was scheduled to go have an MRI to make sure the cancer had not spread beyond my lymph nodes the following day.
Friday, March 21st...
Show up at St. Marks with my husband and my little boys to have my MRI and they have no record of me having an appointment. My appointment was later in the evening so they couldn't get a hold of the doctor to get approval. The MRI tech eventually came out and got me and said he'd do my test and figure out tomorrow who to send it to. The MRI was traumatic, it brought back many memories of having them as a child for my brain tumor. Somehow I survived. I was hoping I wouldn't have to have another one for a LONG time.

From this point on until chemo treatment began my mind is pretty blank. I know lots of things happened and wish I had kept better notes.
My Dad was great at getting me to all my appointments with doctors, getting my port placed and taking care of me after. During this time as we prepared for chemo we were also getting our oldest daughter ready to head out to New York with her AP class from school. Life was crazy busy, and maybe it's good I don't remember the details. One thing that resonates in my mind of what I do remember during that time is how much LOVE I felt. The outpouring of love and support from all parts of my life was HUGE! Looking back I can see that it was because of the prayers, the love, the service and by many small acts that my family was carried through the most challenging thing imaginable! Thankfully I can recall the beautiful things that happened better than the pain and suffering I went through. I am grateful for the relationships that were built and strengthened with many of you! I am grateful to have a husband who loves me and is my rock! This journey has strengthened my friendship with him and love for him! My kids- what troopers they are! This was so hard and scary for them. I enjoyed explaining to them what was going on and helping them see my faith that everything would be OK. My kids amaze me, and my love for them grew so much!

In 6 days I'll have my final chemo and get to close a chapter in this cancer story!
I am so excited to celebrate!

Getting a 2nd opinion

My husband and I met with the Dr. that specializes in micro surgery for a second opinion. My main goal in meeting with her was to find out if there were other options besides the one presented to me by my plastic surgeon. My plastic surgeon told me that I was not a candidate for the S-flap (fat and tissue from your bum) or DIEP flap (fat and tissue from your stomach) because I don't have enough 'fat'. This Dr. is famous for being able to do these surgeries! And her failure rate is 2%! That's amazing! I like those odds!
In the beginning of our discussion she said she may just be confirming that the surgery I have planned with my current plastic surgeon is good enough and perhaps the right choice for me. She spoke very highly of my Dr. and reenforced that I am in good hands. She felt like because of my body size implants would give me an optimal shape and look. And where I haven't had major discomfort from my tissue expanders I may not be too bothered by the implant. We talked about the latissimus dorsi flap surgery that is planned for my cancer/radiated side. She said if she was doing my surgery she would NOT do that procedure. She doesn't feel it is necessary because my skin isn't very damaged and I still have plenty of elasticity. In her opinion doing that procedure is leaving me with fewer option if it were to fail. This type of surgery should be done as a backup if the 1st surgery fails or if the skin is too thin and damaged. So what other options did she give me? And are they real possibilities for me? She does a couple of procedure that are excellent choices because the end result is closer to a natural breast, and the failure rate is significantly less! She says I AM a candidate for the S-flap, and if I go with this procedure I won't have to have more surgeries down the road, like I would an implant. Implants have a shelf life, no pun intended. With implants I can expect to have them exchanged 1-2 more time in my lifetime. The S-flap takes tissue and fat from my bum and transplants it into my breast pocket. The blood supply is reattached through micro surgery to make certain the tissue remains alive and with good blood supply. This surgery is 7 hours long! And they only do one breast at a time, with a 3 month waiting period in between surgeries. Following surgery I would be in the hospital 3 days to be watched and monitored to be sure the blood circulation is ok in the fat graft. I will have a drain in my breast and one in the flap area where the fat was taken from my bum. Oh joy! I won't be able to sit on the bum cheek that has the incision for a couple weeks, so I'll have to learn how to sit, how to get up from a sitting position and I'll have drains to take care of. So, no driving and no heavy lifting for a while. She thinks healing time is about 3-4 weeks. In surgery she will fix the cosmetic issue I have on my cancer breast, however she doesn't feel it can be corrected in surgery alone. She feels I'll need to have fat grafting done (later down the road) to fix, or as she said it, soften the issue. There is also the possibility of doing the DIEP flap procedure, but there is only enough extra fat and tissue in my stomach to do one breast. So, if I chose this option she recommends doing this for the cancer/radiated breast and then do an implant on the non-cancer side. BUT, if I go with that option they still only do ONE side at a time, and she would do the cancer/radiated side first. This surgery requires micro surgery again to reconnect blood vessels to keep the tissue alive and is again a 7 hour surgery, and a longer hospital stay.
I mentioned my desire to have an easier time recovering from anesthesia, but she said there really isn't a way to know how to make that happen. They will make sure to have good anti-nausea meds available to me though.

The pro's and con's:
*By choosing a surgery that uses my own tissue to make breast I won't have to have more surgery later for an exchange.
*The look and feel is more like a natural breast. I still have the option to go a little smaller or a little bigger, it's up to me.
*If my weight fluctuates, my breasts can too because the tissue has been grafted in and is a part of me and not some foreign object.
*The doctor says her failure rate is 2%, which is incredible considering the radiated side has an increase chance of failure because of damage done because of radiation.
*Longer surgery
*Longer stay in the hospital
*Having drain in the buttocks area and the breast
*harder, longer recovery

I really went into this appointment thinking she was going to confirm my decision to stick with my Dr. She even said herself that he is an AMAZING doctor and I'm already in good hands. My husband and I both left feeling a little uncertain about what to do. We see one option being a quicker way to being done, and the other as a longer way to sculpt my body. Part of me just wants to be done with this!, and therefore wants to move forward with the surgery plan already in motion. But there is also the side of me that says that going the longer, harder road would be best in the bigger picture. Now the hard part comes, I need to pick a surgery. Having options is better than not having options I guess. I'm glad I got a 2nd opinion so that I can never second guess myself that I should have. I'm looking forward to my quiet times where I can contemplate my choices and be open to the spirit to help guide my decision. I know that I'll be praying with a greater purpose of finding an answer to this big decision.
This coming Sunday is fast Sunday for us, and I invite any of you who would like to fast with us in my behalf to do so. If you are not a religious person, I would ask you to send positive thoughts my way! Over the past year I have have been humbled and touched by your love and prayers and I know it can happen for this situation as well! I know Heavenly Father hears and answers prayers. I know He loves me and I know he knows how hard this experience has been for me. He is still by my side and through my faith and prayers he will help me know what to do.

And, last but not least, 13 days until my final chemo! I'm already trying to figure out what I'm going to wear to my final treatment. Last night I dreamt about this day and what it as going to sound like to ring the bell. It was a pretty amazing dream, and before I know it, it's going to be my reality!

16 down! Only 1 to go!!

My chemo buddies today were: My dad, my Mom's parents and my good friend.
No visit with the doctor today, just went straight to the chemo room.
On our way back into the chemo room my Grandpa ran into one of his favorite nurses, she just so happens to work at my cancer center now. She was excited to see them and they were excited to see her. My Grandpa told me I needed to be sure to be her friend as she is someone good to have in your corner.
Today's port access was the most painful one I can remember. My nurse didn't follow the same process to 'plug me in' as they usually do. I could feel my port, or the needle moving inside of me when I'd move my right arm or flex the muscles on my right side. Not very cool, but I didn't want to complain because then I'd have to get poked again.
I forgot to take a game to play but I didn't forget my yummy homemade chex mix and chocolate covered cinnamon bears.

Next week my husband and I have an appointment with another plastic surgeon. This one specializes in reconstruction after breast cancer and does micro surgery. I've heard nothing but good about her and hope to gain insight and conformation that my current surgery path is the right one. If this doctor presents a better surgery option than my plastic surgeon it will mean the next surgery will be at St.Marks with a whole new set of doctors. One of my greatest concerns is being sick after surgery from the anesthesia, but that is a HUGE worry regardless of who or where my surgery is. Picking the right doctor means choosing the one that can fix my body right the 1st time and hopefully with as few problems as possible. I know women in my support group who have had to go through surgeries multiple time because they didn't have a good surgery plan or it wasn't done very well. I am going to be optimistic that I can get it right the first time.

March 18th my son gets his boot off! He's super excited to finish with that before I finish chemo! He's already told us the first thing he's going to do when the boot is off- He's going to ride his skooter. Go figure! Nothing slows this kid down!

March 20th I have my last Herceptin treatment! My appointment is at 9:20am, so if there are any of you who would like to come to the see me ring the bell let me know! I don't have an exact time to be there, but it will be around 10:30-11am. Not everyone can come back into the chemo room during chemo, so you'll have to wait in the front reception waiting area and we'll come get you when it's time. I had to get approval to invite people to be there and they said as long as there isn't 100 people it'll be fine. So, if you want to be there to watch me ring that bell let me know. Later that night we'll be having a Chemo party to celebrate the end of chemo! More info will be coming as to what we'll be doing exactly, so stay tuned.

Have I mentioned my chemo brain before? It is probably the thing that frustrates me the most! Physically I feel pretty good, but mentally I feel compromised and not very competent. Yesterday I went to the grocery store for a few things and checked myself out at the self checkout. I got cash back on my transaction, but was distracted by another customer and ended up leaving my cash. I realized after getting in my car that I had forgotten it, but by the time I got back inside to see if it was there or had been turned in it had already been taken. The day only went down hill from there. I went to Costco for THREE things, things I knew I needed and didn't need to write down because I KNEW what they were. I walked to the back of the store, in the direction of the toilet paper and before I got to the toilet paper I forgot what I was getting. Not just the one item, but all 3 things I was supposed to be getting. I grumbled in my head about how dumb I was to forget 3 easy things and had to move over in the isle and check my list on my phone to remind myself what I was buying. Upon coming home from Costco I needed to work on a newsletter and calendar for my son's 5th grade class, but could not for the life of me concentrate enough to do it. I spent the rest of my day doing simpler things that I knew I could do with my lack of brain power. I have days that are better than others, and when I have hard days I'm quick to get discouraged and beat myself up. I have no control over my chemo brain and look forward to the day when things that used to be easier for me become easier. Adjusting to change is hard. What I'm coming to realize is I need to be more patient with myself. Knowing this doesn't mean it's easy to do. I want to be doing things that I used to be doing, like working in my kids classrooms, and hopefully by next fall I can! I loved being involved with things and now I find that those things just overwhelm me. Just because I'm ending chemo doesn't mean my brain will return to normal, that will take time. So, please be patient with me.

This cancer journey has taken me way outside my comfort zone, and by doing so has introduced me to people I would never have met, and strengthened relationships I already had! I have found courage and comfort through the prayers of so many of you! I could not have asked for a better support system to get me through this life changing experience. I hope that my journey will help me to find ways to help others!

Thank you for loving our family!

Reconstruction meeting with the plastic surgeon

I'm pretty sure I suffer from post traumatic stress disorder! The anxiety I felt leading up to this appointment was crazy! Yesterday as I drove to pickup my husband and to my appointment I was feeling physically sick because I was so nervous. Thinking about this next surgery all I can think about is how I handled my last surgery. If you'll remember I spent THREE days in the hospital instead of ONE and was throwing up for THREE days! I have little memory of who came to visit me or what was going on, but I vividly remember being VERY sick and in a lot of pain. I don't want to experience that again. Can you blame me?

I haven't seen the plastic surgeon since my last expansion, which was the beginning of November. It was fun to see his nurse again, she's always very fun to chat with and is good at being friendly and personable. The last time I was there I have peach fuzz hair, so she thought it was fun to see me with more hair. She loves my punk rocker hair, as she called it! The P.A. came in and saw me before the doc. She basically did the same exam and questioning that the doctor would do when he saw me. The joys of going to a 'teaching' hospital. While I have a lot of confidence and trust in Dr., it is the P.A. that I love! She has a fantastic bed side manner, she's great at explaining things in simple terms and she had me feeling completely calm and comfortable. She was pleased with how well me radiated skin is looking and how well my expanders have held up. We addressed the cosmetic issues that needed to be re-visited. She explained the process of reconstruction for both breasts. The reconstruction of the non-cancer side will be pretty straight forward, expander out, implant in. NO JP DRAIN on the right side! Happy! Happy! Happy! The cancer/radiated side will need a little more help as the skin and tissue have been damaged from radiation. The skin is more brittle and doesn't have as good of a blood flow. This side will have an extra procedure done called a lattissima flap surgery. After the expander is removed and the implant is inserted an incision will be made on my back, under my shoulder blade, and the lattissima muscle will be carefully cut away and then channeled under my armpit to my front side and feathered out over my entire breast. This will give my unhealthy skin and muscles something healthy to help with healing and a better outcome. This side will have 3 JP drains, 1 in front for the breast and 2 on my back. Boo! (JP drains are the worst!!)
At this point the doctor came in and we discussed that same cosmetic concerns. The concerns were documented so we can make corrections in final surgery and then we discussed again the surgery process. My biggest concern going in to this meeting was that the doctor would choose my surgery plan without listening to my input. I wanted to know HOW he came up with the surgery plan he had, and he was great at explaining why this surgery was the best for ME! I mentioned that I had researched a couple different options and asked if they were options we could consider, he patiently listened to me and then explained those surgeries and why they were not good options for me. I was so pleased with the time he spent with me and the

confidence he had in my procedure. He made sure I was happy with everything and that all my questions and concerns were addressed.
At this point we decided to find the first available surgery date after March 31st. His first opening was April 8th, but we have a wedding on the 11th so we asked for the next open surgery date. Turns out he didn't have any openings until JUNE! But because June is pretty far out the scheduler asked the doctor if he had any other times he would make available for me. He had a surgery date of April 29th, which is a surgery date reserved for simpler surgeries, but for me he made an exception. Surgery was scheduled for April 29th. I will stop taking tomoxifen 3 weeks before surgery and will not take it for 1 week following surgery. I go in for my surgery consolation on April 17th.
In the meantime, I need to keep moisturizing with coconut oil and melaleuca oil, need to keep massaging the pectoral muscle and surrounding area to keep things softened. I need to keep up on my physical therapy stretches to keep things loose. For 3 weeks post surgery I am not to use my arms or lift anything so they want my muscles in the best possible shape before then.
I was given a picture book that goes through the breast reconstruction process. It was nice to go through last night with my husband. Hopefully having a better understanding of the process will help me be less nervous. I can hope.
Following surgery I will have a similar recovery as I did the first time around, no driving, no lifting the milk out of the fridge, lifting nothing heavier than 5lbs. I'm sure I'll need help showering and taking care of my JP drains. When the time comes I'll make sure I ask for help, cause I'm gonna need it!
This year we have new insurance which allows us more options for plastic surgeons, so I’m going to get a 2nd opinion just to be on the safe side. And then I'll never have to wondered if I should have later.

If you made it to the end of this very long update pat yourself on the back. You'll never get those 5 minutes back that it took you to read this, sorry! haha!

Thank you for your continued love and prayers!

It's time to Pay it Forward

At the ending of my hard chemo's I decided that I wanted to make and take a chemo scarf to each of my remaining 11 herceptin chemo's. So far I've been able to do that. This last chemo I took 7 scarves. With only 3 chemo appointments left I have changed my plan. I would now like to take with me to my last appointment on March 20th one scarf for each chemo treatment I received over the past year. That would be 17 scarves, so here's where you come in! I'm looking to see if anyone want to donate fabric to me, I need about 30 inches by 30 inches, and that'll make 2 scarves. I am planning to buy some of this fabric myself so I can find some cute fabric I think women would like. Do any of you sewing friends have fabric laying around that would make a cute scarf for a chemo patient? Let me know if you do and I'll come pick it up, unless your one of my friends who lives out of state. :)
This project is going to be so much fun and I look forward to working on it over the next 8 weeks!

Fast forward to now...

In the beginning of all my treatments I was told that I would have 17 chemo treatments; 6 of them would be the hard chemo with herceptin and the remaining 11 would be herceptin only treatments. Last Friday, January 16th I had my 7th chemo that was herceptin only. My original appointment was on January 12th, but because we started a new health insurance program and didn't have our ID cards yet (or a member ID #), I needed to cancel my chemo. Utah Cancer Specialist were excellent to work with, once I had a member ID # they quickly got me preauthrized and my chemo treatment re-scheduled.

My Dad was my chemo buddy and was allowed to come back with me for my port access. He had brought along his go-pro and camera and was able to video the port access. Up until this point I wasn't able to have someone with me for the port access (well, except for one other time!). I'm really glad to have a video of this to remind me of what I had to go through on treatment days. This may seem silly, but this whole cancer killing/fighting process fascinates me, and it'll be nice to have these pictures and videos (of the whole process, not just the port access). You know, just in case I forget what it was like.

Today we discussed my achy joints. He said that this is most likely caused from going through this whole treatment process. My body has been through a lot, from chemo's, surgery and radiation. We aren't going to do anything to treat my symptoms, other than exercise (which in my book means, stay active and don't sit around).
We talked about my foggy chemo brain and he said that it usually takes about a year after treatments end to be back at 80% of where I used to be. This wasn't what I wanted to hear, I get really frusterated and discouraged because I don't feel normal. He also said I may never be completely back to the way I was before. Double bummer, lets hope that's not the case for me! Before chemo I loved being involved with my kids schools and loved a good brain stimulating challenge, but now I feel overwhelmed so easily.
With radiation complete now is the time I begin taking tomoxifen. We discussed possible side effects, which would be hot flashes, leg cramps, and uterine cancer. I will need to make sure I have my yearly girl visit to check for any abnormalities, and for hot flashes I can take vitamin E pills. Tomoxifen is a once a day pill and I will take it for 10 years. It used to be something done only for 5 years, but they are seeing even better results by extending it to 10 years. If I'm going to have side effects he said I would notice them right away, and today I took my 5th pill and so far no side effects.

With only 3 more treatments I scheduled out my remaining appointments. Did you hear me?! I only have THREE more treatments!! In about 9 weeks I'll be DONE with chemo treatments!! A couple of nights before this last treatment I looking at my calendar with Dave to see what the dates for the next 3 appointments would be, and when I discovered the date of the final appointment I got emotional! My final chemo date is March 20th, that is the day I was diagnosed last year. How appropriate to be finishing on the exact same day! Typing this in my journal makes me emotional still. The feeling I feel is one of complete happiness; that I have been able to survive this whole ordeal! To say I have been supported by all you wonderful friends and family is an understatement, I feel like you have carried me more than supported me through this. The greatest blessing that may come out of this, besides my life, is the love and friendship that has been strengthened with each one of you. Thank YOU!!
So, with chemo coming to an end I think a party is in order!! Here are my thoughts, I would love for any of you that would like to be at the chemo center  when I ring the bell to be there! You wouldn't all be able to sit with my during treatment, but you could be out in the waiting area and we'll come get you to watch me ring the bell. Before I can do this I need to check with the cancer center to see how big of a 'party group' they'll let me have. :)
I'm thinking of reserving my church later that day to have a party! Do something pot luck style so you can come and enjoy some goodies and stay and visit. My daughter said if we do this she will have her friends help her decorate the gym. I'd love your suggestions and ideas too! So start sending them to me!

Christmas chocolates and a trip to the ER

Being diagnosed with cancer just before Easter meant that I didn't get to do my usual chocolate dipped eggs. For those of you who know me, you know that I LOVE dipping chocolates and especially Easter eggs! For Christmas I dip chocolates for my family, it's a tradition that my Grandma started way back! Now that she is older and not doing any candy making or chocolate dipping I have taken on the job of doing this for all my siblings, their kids, my mom's parents and a few of my Dads neighbors. This project is something that takes about 3 weeks. I got started with the process on December 3rd following one of my radiation appointments. It felt great standing over a hot stove taking in the yummy smells of candy cooking on the stove. The first day I was able to make all the caramel needed for turtles and homemade twix bites. The following day I made a large batch of caramel. The plan was to spend the following Saturday dipping with the help of my girls and husband. Saturday rolled around and after getting my oldest son off to a cub scout activity we began the long process of dipping. By the time my oldest son was back from his scout activity we were still up to our elbows in chocolate. My husband decided to take the boys for a bike ride to keep them entertained (and out of my hair) while the girls and I continued to dip. Following their bike ride they returned home to get gear for the skate park. About an hour after they had left to the skate park I reached a point in my dipping where I needed to take a break to get the next batch of candies ready for dipping. It was during this short break that I got a phone call from my husband asking what hospital emergency room he could go to with Bradley, whom he was sure had a broken leg. Being a Saturday our insurance was closed so I did a quick search on the internet and told him he could go to St. Marks. At this point I stopped getting ready for the next batch of dipping and left in my own car to meet them at the hospital. My oldest daughter came with me so she could bring my other son home in my vehicle. My son had an X-ray that confirmed he had a broken bone, actually 2 broken bones. He broke both the Tibia and Fibula, and because of the nature of the break the tendon at the top of foot stretched and broke the bone on the top of his foot. With a break like this they consulted with an orthopedic surgeon at Primary Childrens, and then decided it was best that he be transported by ambulance to Primary Childrens to be seen. The surgeon there wanted to be see him himself to decide if my son would need surgery. My husband drove our car and rode with Bradley in the ambulance.The ambulance ride was VERY bumpy, and after almost being t-boned by another car we finally made it to Primary's. They were quick to get us in a room, but the Dr. was slow to see us. Turns out that because the weather had been so nice that day there were a lot of broken bones and the only on-call orthopedic surgeon was busy taking care of other ER patients. The nurses were good to take care of our son while we waited. Sometime around 10-11pm the surgeon came in to take care of our son. It was decided to do conscious sedation, set the bones and put on a cast; no surgery. But because they were doing the cast so soon after the injury and with his leg swollen he would need to stay in the hospital to make sure he didn't get 'compartment syndrome', which is the leg swelling inside the cast and causing too much pressure resulting in insufficient blood supply to

muscles and nerves. This would require immediate surgery. By 2am he was taken to a hospital room and at about that time I drove home to get some sleep. The following morning I was awoken by a phone from my husband saying they were discharging our son and to come and get them. My son came home with crutches and some really good pain pills. He was pretty out of it for a couple days and didn't move a whole lot. I was able to go pick up his wheelchair as this was how he would be getting around for a while. 3 days after coming home from the hospital we went back for a follow up visit and everything looked good so they said he could go back to school. Our elementary school was great about getting everything ready for him to come to school in his wheelchair! My son was excited to go back, and truthfully I think he was mostly excited to show off his new wheels.  My son during all of this was a really good sport! My husband and I took turns in the morning getting him to school. After school I picked him up; the novelty of this was short lived for me as the school parking lot at the end of the day being a nightmare! My son has since learned to get around by scooting on around on his bum in the house. He hates using his crutches and the wheelchair in our house doesn't work very well. 10 days after breaking his leg we took him back in to get a new cast, the swelling had gone down so much he could wiggle his leg in his cast, which was very painful and not good. His new cast was tighter and went  higher up his thigh and was VERY PINK! He loved his pink cast! 5 weeks later (this past week) he was taken in for a shorter cast. His new cast stops just below his knee and is bright hunters ORANGE! :) He has a shoe he straps to his cast so he can walk on it. However he is very timid and doesn't want to walk on it yet. He's afraid it's going to hurt and his muscles are pretty weak. My husband and I keep encouraging him to try walking oh his leg, hopefully he'll get the hang of it soon! Tomorrow I'm sending him to school with only his crutches. Thank goodness for NO snow, right?!

Many of you were so kind to our son and our family during this whole nightmare! We are so grateful for the kindness shown to us! We loved all the visitors, love notes and goodies! Thank you for your love and prayers! My son still has a long road ahead of him but he is expected to return to his normal self! Next month we go back to get this cast off and then he'll wear a walking boot for about another month. If all goes well it looks like he'll be cast and boot free by the time I have my final chemo! Another reason to celebrate!!