Port Flush

I was really hoping that last chemo was the last time I'd have to have my port accessed! But, alas it wasn't! Because I changed surgeons and surgery dates it looks like I need to have my port flushed. It's perfectly normal to be nervous and upset that I have parts of this chemo process to deal with. Flushing the port is important! But that doesn't mean I have to like doing it! It's a good thing I'm kicking cancers trash because I'm pretty sure I could never get used to my port being accessed!

So, here's hoping tomorrow's port flush will be the final port access!

Wish me luck!

A day with my Dad

Today was my original surgery day.  I have been wanting to cut out chemo scarves from all the fabric I bought several weeks ago, so I packed up all my stuff and headed over to my dad's. Packing up all my stuff to go to his house brought back many memories of packing up 'stuff' to go watch my Mom. This trip down memory lane made my heart happy. I was looking forward to hanging out with my dad. He spent his time working on all his garden 'starts' and I took over the kitchen table with all my cutting supplies. Having him to chat with was so enjoyable. We talked about his trip he just came home from, we talked about veggies to plant in the garden, we talked about how to wrap up your ear buds that go to your ipod, and we talked (mostly me, he just listened) about how to make tags for my chemo scarf project. He was intrigued with the tags I was talking about and we then spent the better part of an hour on the internet looking at companies that'll make labels/tags. We found a couple companies that interested me and now I'm looking forward to contacting them to see if they'll print my logo/design on their tags.

   

My dad and I went to lunch. He has a love for Chinese food, so we usually end of at the same Chinese. restaurant. The food was great! The company was even better! We were never at a loss of things to talk about. I like hanging out with my dad. He's one of my favorite people. And I love that he is so good at listening to me and encouraging me with my ideas. 

Check out my awesome fortune! Totally appropriate for me! Don't you think?!

This was the shirt I wore today.  I can only wear it for a few more weeks and then my 'under construction' will become a 'project complete!' I love that I am comfortable taking about my cancer to just about anyone. I really think I've been pretty positive through this but it's been hard! REALLY HARD! But something I remember saying in the beginning keeps coming to my mind, 'If me going through cancer can help ONE person It'll be worth it!'. We all have trials, and hard things happen to us. These things are meant to help US grow, but I also believe there are times when others grow by watching people go through trials. I love it when people come up to me and tell me what they have learned from my cancer. In so many ways it feels like this cancer has changed more people than just myself.


Thank you for encouraging me through this journey! I have the best family and friends! I have never felt alone! Thank you for loving me!
I love you all!

Let it GROW!

 Last night I ordered a lamp for my sewing corner. It'll be here on Friday! I'm having a lot of fun getting my 'Pay it Forward' station all set up and organized!

There are a 2 women in my support group who are in the beginning of their cancer journeys. This past week both of them shaved their heads. Loosing your hair is really a hard thing! I reached out to them both and told them I wanted to mail them or drop off a chemo scarf. One of the ladies lives in Utah County, so I emailed her pictures of the scarves I have right now. She picked the one she wanted and this morning I mailed it off to her! I can't wait for her to find this fun package in her mail!  

This is the scarf she picked out. It's a fun one! Nice and bright and cheery! I am currently working on coming up with a Brand name for my project. Once I've come up with it I'll have some tags made that I can sew into my scarves. I have some other big ideas, but I'm going to save sharing them until I have my branded name. I'd love any suggestions!

So while I was at the post office I told them about my project and asked them to give me an idea of what it was going to mail chemo scarves around the US. If I mail them in this envelope it will cost me .91 cents! And I can mail them anywhere in the US! This makes me so excited to get me chemo scarves everywhere! And it won't have to be a financial burden either! This project is coming together quite nicely! And I'm healing myself in the process!

Because sometimes change is good

This post has been a little slow in coming, but for a good reason! My surgery date was set for the 29th of this month, but because I have new insurance I decided to get a second opinion. Remember my post about that? The option the 2nd opinion purposed was going to be more surgery than my body could handle, so I figured I stick with my Dr. up at the Huntsman. His plan was to do implants and move my latissimus from my shoulder blade on the cancer side to my front. This extra cutting, longer surgery, drains and longer recovery really had me hung up! This was not what I wanted but he was insistent that this was the only way.
For my support group in March they had a plastic surgeon, Dr. J come and talk about reconstruction. His presentation was incredible. His ideas on how to do things was so inline with what I wanted. BUT, I thought, 'There is no way I'd want to drive to Utah County for surgery!'. His surgery idea is to not do extra cutting and flaps if it's not needed. As he put it, 'no free flap surgery is free. They come with a cost'. Meaning loss of muscle strength, scars, complications, infections, etc.
I came home and talked to my husband about what I had heard and learned. I was excited! He suggested that I go see Dr. J, and by doing so maybe we could convince my current Dr. to not do the latissimus, because Dr. J would have been my 2nd opinion of not needing it. I made an appointment. My sister-in-law went with me to this appointment. I quickly felt comfortable there. I saw Dr. J's assistant first and she explained how she thought he'd do my surgery. She did and exam and was confidant that he could make my end result beautiful. Dr. J came in and explained that he would do an exchange only, expander out- implant in, which would be an outpatient surgery!! Total time to do the job? About 2 1/2-3 hours, and some of that time is in recovery! No extra cutting! No drains! But there would be a cute belly band to wear while my liposuction site on my stomach heals. The fat taken from my tummy would be used to fat graft around my breast to make them look more natural and smooth around the edges. From what other breast cancer survivors have told me, the hardest part of this surgery is the discomfort from the liposuction. Most of them only took ibuprofen for pain, no heavy drugs. This is so appealing to me! I struggled big time with the last surgery and all the anesthesia, and all the million meds I took after. This surgery approach would be similar to when I had my port placed, so I'm encouraged that the side effects may not be as bad.
I made an appointment for surgery with the new doctor and told them that I wanted time to ponder and pray if this really was the right direction for me. They told me to make my decision and if I didn't choose to go with them to just call and cancel the surgery. No hard feelings they said. Surgery was set for May 20th at American Fork Hospital.
Having a constant prayer in my heart started as I left that office. Dave and I flew off to California to celebrate our 20th anniversary! Oh what a glorious time we had! While we were there I got an answer to my prayers. The answer wasn't strong and overwhelming, but a quiet, gentle affirmation that it was the right thing for me to go with Dr. J.
Monday morning after coming home I started having a spiritual nagging feeling that I needed to confirm that my insurance would indeed cover this new doc and

hospital. I made the call. Thank goodness for spiritual promptings! My insurance doesn't cover the hospital! But the doc has rights at another hospital and a surgical center. Dr. J suggested I go to the surgical center instead of Timpanogo's hospital. My insurance will pay for either option. I chose the surgical center but asked if we could do it on a day where I can have a one night stay if I don't come out of anesthesia well. He does surgery on Monday's and Fridays at the surgery center. If I have surgery on Monday and need a one night stay over that day will work. Friday surgeries cannot have a night stay over. With that, my surgery for May 20th was canceled and moved to his first Monday appointment, June 1st!
With my choice to change hospitals and doctors I made the phone call to my current Dr. and canceled my surgery.
So now I have quite a bit of time to prepare (and be nervous) for this last chapter of my cancer journey. I've heard many people tell me that the final reconstruction is the gift of having breast cancer. I hope I will like my new body. There always seems to be a level of emotional healing that has to take place in all of this. While I may heal quickly physically, it may take a while to heal emotionally. Thankfully I have a huge support system, and many breast cancer friends who can share wisdom with me as I heal.
My mind is blown that I am at this last part of my cancer journey. I remember in the beginning thinking about what it would feel like to be done. I'm excited! I feel strong! I feel loved! I feel like a fighter! A Winner! And a warrior!
And when this chapter closes? My next chapter of chemo scarves making will go bigger! The next chapter will be all about Paying it Forward!