16 down! Only 1 to go!!

My chemo buddies today were: My dad, my Mom's parents and my good friend.
No visit with the doctor today, just went straight to the chemo room.
On our way back into the chemo room my Grandpa ran into one of his favorite nurses, she just so happens to work at my cancer center now. She was excited to see them and they were excited to see her. My Grandpa told me I needed to be sure to be her friend as she is someone good to have in your corner.
Today's port access was the most painful one I can remember. My nurse didn't follow the same process to 'plug me in' as they usually do. I could feel my port, or the needle moving inside of me when I'd move my right arm or flex the muscles on my right side. Not very cool, but I didn't want to complain because then I'd have to get poked again.
I forgot to take a game to play but I didn't forget my yummy homemade chex mix and chocolate covered cinnamon bears.

Next week my husband and I have an appointment with another plastic surgeon. This one specializes in reconstruction after breast cancer and does micro surgery. I've heard nothing but good about her and hope to gain insight and conformation that my current surgery path is the right one. If this doctor presents a better surgery option than my plastic surgeon it will mean the next surgery will be at St.Marks with a whole new set of doctors. One of my greatest concerns is being sick after surgery from the anesthesia, but that is a HUGE worry regardless of who or where my surgery is. Picking the right doctor means choosing the one that can fix my body right the 1st time and hopefully with as few problems as possible. I know women in my support group who have had to go through surgeries multiple time because they didn't have a good surgery plan or it wasn't done very well. I am going to be optimistic that I can get it right the first time.

March 18th my son gets his boot off! He's super excited to finish with that before I finish chemo! He's already told us the first thing he's going to do when the boot is off- He's going to ride his skooter. Go figure! Nothing slows this kid down!

March 20th I have my last Herceptin treatment! My appointment is at 9:20am, so if there are any of you who would like to come to the see me ring the bell let me know! I don't have an exact time to be there, but it will be around 10:30-11am. Not everyone can come back into the chemo room during chemo, so you'll have to wait in the front reception waiting area and we'll come get you when it's time. I had to get approval to invite people to be there and they said as long as there isn't 100 people it'll be fine. So, if you want to be there to watch me ring that bell let me know. Later that night we'll be having a Chemo party to celebrate the end of chemo! More info will be coming as to what we'll be doing exactly, so stay tuned.

Have I mentioned my chemo brain before? It is probably the thing that frustrates me the most! Physically I feel pretty good, but mentally I feel compromised and not very competent. Yesterday I went to the grocery store for a few things and checked myself out at the self checkout. I got cash back on my transaction, but was distracted by another customer and ended up leaving my cash. I realized after getting in my car that I had forgotten it, but by the time I got back inside to see if it was there or had been turned in it had already been taken. The day only went down hill from there. I went to Costco for THREE things, things I knew I needed and didn't need to write down because I KNEW what they were. I walked to the back of the store, in the direction of the toilet paper and before I got to the toilet paper I forgot what I was getting. Not just the one item, but all 3 things I was supposed to be getting. I grumbled in my head about how dumb I was to forget 3 easy things and had to move over in the isle and check my list on my phone to remind myself what I was buying. Upon coming home from Costco I needed to work on a newsletter and calendar for my son's 5th grade class, but could not for the life of me concentrate enough to do it. I spent the rest of my day doing simpler things that I knew I could do with my lack of brain power. I have days that are better than others, and when I have hard days I'm quick to get discouraged and beat myself up. I have no control over my chemo brain and look forward to the day when things that used to be easier for me become easier. Adjusting to change is hard. What I'm coming to realize is I need to be more patient with myself. Knowing this doesn't mean it's easy to do. I want to be doing things that I used to be doing, like working in my kids classrooms, and hopefully by next fall I can! I loved being involved with things and now I find that those things just overwhelm me. Just because I'm ending chemo doesn't mean my brain will return to normal, that will take time. So, please be patient with me.

This cancer journey has taken me way outside my comfort zone, and by doing so has introduced me to people I would never have met, and strengthened relationships I already had! I have found courage and comfort through the prayers of so many of you! I could not have asked for a better support system to get me through this life changing experience. I hope that my journey will help me to find ways to help others!

Thank you for loving our family!