Because sometimes change is good

This post has been a little slow in coming, but for a good reason! My surgery date was set for the 29th of this month, but because I have new insurance I decided to get a second opinion. Remember my post about that? The option the 2nd opinion purposed was going to be more surgery than my body could handle, so I figured I stick with my Dr. up at the Huntsman. His plan was to do implants and move my latissimus from my shoulder blade on the cancer side to my front. This extra cutting, longer surgery, drains and longer recovery really had me hung up! This was not what I wanted but he was insistent that this was the only way.
For my support group in March they had a plastic surgeon, Dr. J come and talk about reconstruction. His presentation was incredible. His ideas on how to do things was so inline with what I wanted. BUT, I thought, 'There is no way I'd want to drive to Utah County for surgery!'. His surgery idea is to not do extra cutting and flaps if it's not needed. As he put it, 'no free flap surgery is free. They come with a cost'. Meaning loss of muscle strength, scars, complications, infections, etc.
I came home and talked to my husband about what I had heard and learned. I was excited! He suggested that I go see Dr. J, and by doing so maybe we could convince my current Dr. to not do the latissimus, because Dr. J would have been my 2nd opinion of not needing it. I made an appointment. My sister-in-law went with me to this appointment. I quickly felt comfortable there. I saw Dr. J's assistant first and she explained how she thought he'd do my surgery. She did and exam and was confidant that he could make my end result beautiful. Dr. J came in and explained that he would do an exchange only, expander out- implant in, which would be an outpatient surgery!! Total time to do the job? About 2 1/2-3 hours, and some of that time is in recovery! No extra cutting! No drains! But there would be a cute belly band to wear while my liposuction site on my stomach heals. The fat taken from my tummy would be used to fat graft around my breast to make them look more natural and smooth around the edges. From what other breast cancer survivors have told me, the hardest part of this surgery is the discomfort from the liposuction. Most of them only took ibuprofen for pain, no heavy drugs. This is so appealing to me! I struggled big time with the last surgery and all the anesthesia, and all the million meds I took after. This surgery approach would be similar to when I had my port placed, so I'm encouraged that the side effects may not be as bad.
I made an appointment for surgery with the new doctor and told them that I wanted time to ponder and pray if this really was the right direction for me. They told me to make my decision and if I didn't choose to go with them to just call and cancel the surgery. No hard feelings they said. Surgery was set for May 20th at American Fork Hospital.
Having a constant prayer in my heart started as I left that office. Dave and I flew off to California to celebrate our 20th anniversary! Oh what a glorious time we had! While we were there I got an answer to my prayers. The answer wasn't strong and overwhelming, but a quiet, gentle affirmation that it was the right thing for me to go with Dr. J.
Monday morning after coming home I started having a spiritual nagging feeling that I needed to confirm that my insurance would indeed cover this new doc and

hospital. I made the call. Thank goodness for spiritual promptings! My insurance doesn't cover the hospital! But the doc has rights at another hospital and a surgical center. Dr. J suggested I go to the surgical center instead of Timpanogo's hospital. My insurance will pay for either option. I chose the surgical center but asked if we could do it on a day where I can have a one night stay if I don't come out of anesthesia well. He does surgery on Monday's and Fridays at the surgery center. If I have surgery on Monday and need a one night stay over that day will work. Friday surgeries cannot have a night stay over. With that, my surgery for May 20th was canceled and moved to his first Monday appointment, June 1st!
With my choice to change hospitals and doctors I made the phone call to my current Dr. and canceled my surgery.
So now I have quite a bit of time to prepare (and be nervous) for this last chapter of my cancer journey. I've heard many people tell me that the final reconstruction is the gift of having breast cancer. I hope I will like my new body. There always seems to be a level of emotional healing that has to take place in all of this. While I may heal quickly physically, it may take a while to heal emotionally. Thankfully I have a huge support system, and many breast cancer friends who can share wisdom with me as I heal.
My mind is blown that I am at this last part of my cancer journey. I remember in the beginning thinking about what it would feel like to be done. I'm excited! I feel strong! I feel loved! I feel like a fighter! A Winner! And a warrior!
And when this chapter closes? My next chapter of chemo scarves making will go bigger! The next chapter will be all about Paying it Forward!